Is life just a series of experiences? Surprises randomly thrown at you one
after another, some pleasant, some not so much. You feel you have learnt
something, but the same situation never arises again. There is logic to rely
on. There is a rational self. Really? Or are you just trying to make sense of
all the randomness of the world to remain sane as that seems the only way a
thinking being can exist? If you were given all that you thought would make you
happy, you still would not be. Why? Because you are made for randomness. The
unchanging world would bore you. You are not made for certainty.
Sometimes you end up where you started. Is that not futile?
How is it futile? After a trip, don’t you go back home? Reaching where you started from only means the trip is over, but the trip could definitely have been fun.
You just need to stop being a control freak. Don’t most wonderful experiences happen when you let things be, when you are ready to accept whatever happens with an open mind(well, you may be tired to try other "choices" at the time and so may have given in to accepting things, but whatever, the truth remains). Rationalising is sometimes just BS. There is no fun reaching anywhere. It is just in the seeking, exploring, knowing, feeling, believing. The journey. That is all there is.
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