Simple..

After so many years of having various kinds of dreams about life, I suddenly wished and actually visualised a small bit of my future and just hoped thats how it turns out. I will improvise it run time to make it feel good while I write it as well. It was simple. It was a nice saturday evening, in a monsoon month. There was a light drizzle, not annoying, not really drenching us. Just chilly enough to keep us close. The streets were calm, unlike the weekdays. I was walking with him and we were going to Rangashankara to watch a play...

hmmm

It feels so low
Isnt it time to go...

Festive feeling

I used to have this strange inertia towards festivals. I used to like the buying new dresses, wearing them and feasting part of the festivals. But getting up really early, taking oil bath, sit through the long prayer session with my mother reading mantras from one book after another. And not having breakfast till the pooja is over - this again depended on when the Rahukaala(not auspicious time) fell on that day. There is something about doing the rituals that makes me slightly uneasy.

Today I celebrated the Gouri Ganesha festival here. I woke up early, that is for a Sunday! I could have brushed and had cereals. I chose to take bath, wore a chudidar and started making neivedya(some sweet as an offering to god). Made akki payasa(rice pudding), did pooja, just said a prayer, burnt incense sticks and played ganesh bhajans on my laptop. Offered some fruits and the payasa to god and had brunch feast - pulav, curry, payasa. The whole thing was just my way of celebrating a festival and I liked it, terms and conditions were bare minimum. Liked something about the whole thing and had a great feeling about the festival.

There is one thing about Ganesh Chaturthi that I remember from childhood. On the festival, one should not see the moon. The story goes that when Lord Ganesha was going on his vehicle-rat, the Moon laughed at the sight since he found it comical. Lord Ganesha became angry and cursed him that on Ganesha Chaturthi, if someone sees the moon, that person will get blamed for some kind of theft that he did not do. So one should not see the moon on Ganesh Chaturthi. Incase you do as a redemption you need to listen to this story, this is what is believed. In my neighbourhood, the story used to get read later in the evening so that all the “sinners” who watched the moon get to attend this session. It used to be really long. There was one mischievous boy in my locality. If by mistake he saw the moon, he would make sure every kid in the street saw the moon, so that he had company to hear the story! I used to warn myself, not to see him rather than the moon on Ganesh Chaturthi! Now when I look back it makes me smile.

Some more cleansing…

When I first came to know I had to also clean the toilet sometimes here, since people who stay with me also take turns to do it, no maid comes over to clean it - it was like “no way“. So had I never cleaned a toilet before, well it now looks almost shameful to admit, but - “No”. I couldn’t understand how I would do it. It was not about not knowing how to clean it, it was about “me” and “cleaning the toilet”. Somehow something felt out of place. I put on the gloves and felt the smell of the cleaning agent was very strong and suffocating. I cringed at the thought. I just told myself it had to be done and so do it as fast as possible and be done with it. Ever since, I have cleaned the toilet a few times, but now I don’t cringe at the thought. It is just another chore. Last time I cleaned it, I took a good look and took some pride at my literally neat job. It has in its own way cleaned me of some notions which I dint need in life - anyways!

On myself

I got a reminder for some networking site from God-knows-which-link, I usually ignore such mails, but for a change went to it, I checked and found that I had written this about myself :

"Am very cool, honest, responsible. And am quite polite and never politically correct! There are very few things in the world I am scared of; love my family, have great friends and love music, reading, writing. Have a great urge to see places..."

I mostly find myself self doubting and unsure about most things, but when I write something about myself, I appear to be so perfectly sure, I wonder how. I wonder why. At a later point when I read it, it looks most amusing to me! I wonder why. I wonder how.

Shadow Play...