Ugadi

It was two weeks to go for Ugadi, the festival to mark the first day of the Kannada new year. It was around 6am and Tara was brooding about it as she walked to work. She remembered the last Ugadi when her mother was alive. Her new clothes for the new year were a beautiful green blouse and long skirt with golden border for the festival. Her mother had got it stitched from one of the two silk saris she had. Wearing new clothes, prayers  and feasting with the entire family  were part of Ugadi. The thoughts  welled up her eyes and she could not see the street anymore. She hastily tried to wipe her eyes.

She had lost both her parents by the age of ten. She lived with her uncle’s family for a few years, but she could not endure the nagging aunt. She was forced to move from her village to a cramped hut in the outskirts of the city with her brother’s family. She had hoped for a better life. Tara’s brother doted on her.  But her sister-in-law, Jaya, made it quite clear that Tara could no longer go to school.  There was no such thing as a free lunch, even for a thirteen year old. She had to do chores in the house and earn her living. Tara was made to baby sit her 3 year old niece and watch over her 8 year old nephew. The little boy went to the local government school. Tara had to take care of both the children while her sister-in-law worked as a maid servant. A year later, Jaya got Tara a maid’s job. She told Tara to tell the employer that she was 17 years old if they asked her age. The city dwellers seemed to be psyched up about not having children to work for them and Jaya wondered why.

Tara found doing the maid’s job was far easier than doing never-ending-house chores at her brother’s house and watching over the kids. If she finished her work at the employers’ early, she could go home and rest a little before Jaya came back from work. She had started enjoying this small siesta and the satisfaction that since she earned money now, she was no longer at anyone’s mercy.

That day Tara reached home, and laid the mat to take a nap when she heard Jaya coming in. She folded the mat back hastily and put it back in the corner. She was surprised to find Jaya back earlier than usual. Jaya was carrying some carry bags. She came in, kept the bags on the shelf, and left without saying so much as a word to Tara. Tara waited for a while and when she was sure that Jaya was gone, checked the carry bags. There was a small frock, a pair of shorts and a small shirt, a sari, a big shirt and a white dhoti. New clothes for the entire family, for Ugadi! But nothing for her! She felt sad. Whatever she did to belong to the family, she was reminded in one way or the other that she was an orphan, an outsider. Tears rolled down her cheeks. There was no need to hide them from anyone and she cried till her stomach hurt. She missed her parents and wished she had died with them.

The next day when she went to work, finding her dull, the lady of the house,lets call her Ms. M, asked her what was the matter. Tara was reticent and maintained she was just having headache. Ms. M coaxed her to talk. Tara usually would be scared to talk to anyone, scared that if Jaya got to know anything she had shared, Tara was bound to get beaten up. But after the previous day’s episode she felt too vulnerable and had nothing to lose. She only mentioned that she badly missed her mother and wished she was alive. Ms. M was a kind woman. She casually asked Tara if she had got new clothes for Uagdi. Tara gave a wry smile, a smile so sad that Ms. M got her response.

The next week seemed eternal to Tara. She could not bear the festivities. When she had come to the city, she had told herself that she would try her best to be cheerful and happy. But now nothing seemed alright.

The city made her sick and reminded how lonely she was in the world. She could not sleep at night and felt tired at work. When she saw her nephew go to school it reminded her that had she continued schooling, she would be in tenth standard the coming June. It had been her mother’s dream for Tara to complete 10^th standard!  She was helpless, alone, without a soul to care.

Atlast the Ugadi day came. Tara could have taken a day off. But she did not want to be the outsider in her brother’s house interfering with their happiness on the day of the festival. She went to work. She kept looking at the ground all the time. She did not want to meet anyone’s eyes. It seemed too much. After finishing her work, she meddled with the coffee tumbler for a long while. Finishing coffee meant going home. Ms.M asked her to lock the back door and come in from the front door. She was slightly surprised, followed the instruction. Ms.M came in with a plate in her hand. It had vermillion and turmeric with flowers in the side. It lifted Tara’s mood as she felt good with the treatment. Ms.M went in and got a coconut, two bananas put on beetle leaves. It had a small packet next to it- a piece of cloth that could be stitched to make a blouse. Tara was touched by Ms.M’s gesture.  She felt cared for and smiled for the first time in weeks. She accepted it all and touched Ms.M’s feet to get her blessings. She rose and got up to leave. Ms.M asked her to wait. She brought out something wrapped in brown paper and gave it to Tara. Tara’s hands were already full. She kept all the other things away keen to see what is inside the brown paper. It was green blouse with golden border and a red long skirt with golden spots on it, the most beautiful dress that Tara had ever got!