Youth

Youth is magnanimous. Its also full of pride, impatience and contradictions. And its because of the immense pride of youth that makes the person so very sensitive and easily vulnerable to embarrassment. It is very easy to feel humble. When you achieve anything, say, get your first job, the first feeling is that of great humility. One feels a sense of gratification to the entire world! To one's family, to friends. Pride comes only later, when it actually sinks into the mind, when the mind no longer is in that sense of elation. Pride comes when one reasons out. It could be like "Yes, ofcource I deserved it, thats why I got the job". Its also very easy to feel hurt. Thats probably because of being sensitive and impatient at the same time! Let me explain. The root cause is pride again. One is extremely ambitious(meaning the most ambitious one can get in one's lifetime is in his youth ), exacting and wants all things his/her way. Life unfortunately is not that forgiving, just does not seem to entertain the follies of youth. Things just dont happen your way all the time. And youth is not bestowed with immense patience, ofcourse people endure things, have persistence, but all this is mostly out of practise and conscious enforcement of discipline, its not natural. One also has the highest physical stamina in youth. It sometimes only adds to the confusion of youth. And yes when you dont know what else to blame, there are those hormones ofcourse, which add spice to youth!

To a friend...with love

A long time since I posted anything here..well,September was loaded with work..Today is a very close friend's birthday..so want to write something on relationships that make life so much better. I guess, friends are the greatest source of influence, motivation. They help us grow,grow strong,enjoy life, be ourselves, go through those lean patches. They also give you lectures when you least expect! But all in all they make life beautiful.

This friend of mine is simply great. She is a person of few words. She supports me when she feels I am right and strongly opposes when otherwise. So basically make a good and reliable critic. She has immense patience. She is adorable. We have been together for the past so many years. The best part about this friendship that I cherish the most is that it has given us both space and time. We are the best of friends but still we are totally different people. We enjoy being with each other, we also enjoy being away! Life without such people is surely dull.

Just a quote!

Mostly whenever I read "Quotable Quotes" in RD, I find myself smiling. I read an interesting quote today. "Well behaved women never create history". So nicely put!

What I did with myself last evening!

Does the title sound filmi? It was actually funny..
This week the workload has been swinging up and down unpredictably. So much so that I come in the morning thinking after I am done with this I will be free for the rest of the day and then it turns out that I spend all my evening slogging. Next day I come hoping to complete something no matter what. It will stretch all morning and suddenly its done by afternoon and I am suddenly free for tha day!

Now the former is easier to accept than the latter. Wonder why? If you dont expect to be free on a particular day you will not have planned for anything. And during these rare situations you dont know what to do with yourself. It happened last evening! Then I remembered I wanted to gift myself a black bag I had seen in Forum not long ago. (Gifting myself something rather than just buying it makes the whole thing all the more exciting!)

So I went there after office and straight to that store. Hey where had that bag gone? I searched for it but couldnt find it. Then I thought I will look for some other bag. I was not able to decide. So called my sis. My sis' phone was busy. Tried calling a friend. My friend was busy! Now dont ask me how could I get opinions about things over the phone. Okay fine, so I just walked out and went to clothes shop which had a nice discount. Inside I realised I dint want to buy anything there, that stupid bag was still bothering me.

You see, I am one of those weird people who beleive in love at first sight! Hey, I am still talking about things. When I like something at first sight, it really means I like it. If I start wishing the shade was a little darker/lighter or the design was a little different all it means is I may be buying it because someone is trying to sell it!So, I got out of there and went back to that bags store! Hey what are those people in the store for. They should be able to help me find it I thought. Went to one of them with those tags and described the bag I was looking for. She smiled blankly and tried looking for it. Why was I doing this to myself? Suddenly to my greatest relief my phone started ringing. It was sis. I blabbered to her and unburdened myself. She patiently heard me and suggested something that I so happily agreed to do. She asked me to forget about the bag and go to the nearest book shop, buy myself a nice book and spend the rest of the evening enjoying it.

Wow, why dint it occur to me before? This is precisely why one should have a sibling. Words from these kins who have that little extra or little less experience of life compared to yourself, can give so much more insight into simple things in life! You see parents can also tell you these things but it doesnt seem to have the same effect. The gradient is too large for the ego of a young adult and makes you feel many a time "hey you guys dont treat me like an adult sometimes!"

Okay, so I browsed through those books for a while, selected two of them and happily headed home. Then spent the rest of the evening reading,talking to a friend and unburdening my room-mate by listening to how hectic her day at work was. Finally what started out as a "what-do-I-do-with-all-this-time-alone" had turned out to be a nice little evening all by myself.

Hope

Its pouring in Mumbai. Everyday I get pictures and videos giving glimpses of whats happening there as shot by some of those unfortunate Mumbaikars. The rains have already claimed hundreds of lives. The Tsunami that happened months ago, now the heavy rains in Gujrat and Maharastra, London blasts, Blasts in Egypt...Its just not nature but people of the world are facing the fury of fellow beings also. Where is the world heading to?

Last week I was watching those ads of KBC-2 and fascinated by the theme- on how we all hope for a better tomorrow and struggle with our todays. But all these people who came face to face with the fears of never seeing that tomorrow they always dreamed of, or those who lost the very people they wanted to share it with..how would they feel..the wounds apparently heal..but leave the wounded ones scarred for life. How difficult could it be to cope with such sudden invasions into their lives, rendering one so very helpless, to cope with those feelings they never ever dreamt they would one day feel so intensely, all those felt so remote,so alien, things which they had seen happen to people in some far off worlds happening to them. Things certainly will never be the same for them.

All of us console ourselves with where we are, with whatever we have, though we not really happy with them, hoping someday things will be the way we want. Will they ever be? Can anybody guarantee it for you? Can anybody claim confidently to live the next day? But still what is it that keeps one going.

Slice of life!

She was sitting at her desk busy with something. She sneezed. He asked her to think of a number. Without turning back and ofcourse without thinking she replied "hmm..".
He: Whats the number?
She: 9
He: C'mon ya, think big..had it been me I would have said 5 zillion!
She: ok
He: Okay, now think of a number less than 10.
She: okHe: Whats the number?
She: 9
He: Again! You were not listening! I asked you to think big. Think 'out of the box' ya.You should have said 5 zillion.
There was no point arguing that 5 zillion is not a number less than 10. How can he be ever wrong? Moreover she wanted to be left alone for a while.

She: ok..,fine.

For the next question she knew the answer perfectly well. It had to be none other than 5 zillion!

He: Ok, now one last question
She: ya?
He: Whats 1+2?
She: 5 zillion?
He: Hey, did you ever go to school or not?

By now she had had enough. She furiously said "Get lost man!" He was laughing "hehehe!"
Next moment they were both laughing!

A nice meeting...

Last week when I boarded the bus to go home, I got a pleasant surprise. I met my English lecturer of my pre-university college. She dint seem to recognize me immediately. That I guess happens to most teachers. You have so many students each year that remembering each one of them must be difficult, unless they are in touch. So when I gave a smile and exchanged pleasantries with her, I could make out her efforts to recollect who out of those numerous students I was. But I am a very kind person when it comes to this, I dont keep people guessing for a long time. (Thats because it could happen with anyone-and more importantly because it has happened with me as well!). The gentleman sitting next to her offered his seat and I immediately accepted it. I reminded her my name and mentioned my batch. I told her where I work. And I started mentioning the names of other girls in my class and slowly she started recollecting them. I told her where they are working now and she was glad to hear all that. I told her about my blog and the recent books I read. I told her about the kind of work I do. She patiently heard me and would interrupt me now and then as if analysing what I had just said. I was reminded of the classroom where whenever someone answered she would question back to clarify "did you mean this or that" which would make us think more. I was reminded of those days. It was a class of sixty girls. Though a co-ed college there were different sections for boys and girls. I had taken part in a play and she had presented us with pens which I still have.
I spoke to her for almost an hour and a half. I dint realize the distance or the time. I gave her my card and she said she would mail me.She invited me home and promised to present me a book when I will visit her! She knew it was tempting for me. I hope to meet her sometime.

For the records!

Yesterday I completed one year at work! I have enjoyed these days, learnt loads of new things, technically and otherwise..We are about thirty of us who got inducted on the same day, we all had lunch together, each one of us were given a yellow rose, sweets and a nice badge saying "Just 1...miles to go..." with our names on it...had fun..we had a photo session as well...I still remember clearly my first day at work and its already one year....hmmm...

Quotes..

Here are some quotes that I found in signatures in the mails that I got. They are as interesting as the people themselves and some are humorous too.

Diamonds are pieces of coal that stuck to their jobs.

"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right"

" Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking."

"Difficult things take a long time;The impossible takes a little longer." - Anonymous.

Dreams will come true only when you are awake.

Diamond was just another piece of coal that did well under pressure.

Either I will find a way or make one!

Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a WorkStation....
What more can I say........

Pure fun..sky is the limit!

I am a little crazy about those weekly and daily predictions that appear in newspapers and websites. Its note that I am a strong believer of astrology but I feel its so much fun. On every Sunday I eagerly read them just to see how my week ahead will be. Then I totally forget it until something (may be by chance) happens as I had read! I happen to be a Leo, and take pride in being one!
My interests in astrology started during my school days when we had an astronomy club in school. And astronomy and astrology are two different sciences altogether.
We used to called it "star gazing". It used to be fun, pure fun. Spotting constellations, identifying stars, imagining all those patterns that give those constellations their names. During one Shivaratri we stayed awake all night watching stars! Those were days I will remember all my life..

Canine friends..

I have always loved dogs. My canine friends, thats what I call them! I have had their company at home ever since I was about two years old. People who have had pets at home tend to get attached to them very much. It was the same with me too. At one time we had three dogs. A small canine family of three! Now its just one. My favorite was called Pintu, a gem of a dog. He was a very friendly pomarian. Always waited for me when I came back home from school. I used to pull his whiskers, and he never seemed to mind.( You generally cant to that with most dogs!).He used rub himself against my legs until I patted him. He lived for almost sixteen years. He was a plaything for me at first. He once fell seriously ill. The fear of losing him made me realise that he meant so much to me. But fortunately he recovered and lived for several more years.
Pets according to me make us better people. They teach us to care,love and be loved.

Joy

I sometimes feel very curious about some (ya sometimes small)things. For example I want to know all commands in VI..when I watch my TL use it do all magic(so many things are possible and for me what I dont understand is pure magic until I learn the tricks!) Learning by oneself is sheer joy, it stays with you for long. Not just that it gives you the joy of discovering, its like you opening a beautifully wrapped gift. And the gift always turns out to be great, however small the piece of information you learn! Hmmm...for some time now I was practicing some of these tricks and time just seemed to fly..I still feel I want to play with these for some more time!

Mein aisa hee hu...

I have been quite busy with work from past few weeks. Every morning getting up early, getting ready and running to office seems such a herculean task. I hate myself for doing it. There is a shuttle later in the morning at around 10,(the one I catch is in the wee hours of the morning - at 8!) but I somehow feel its too late a time to go to office. If I go at that time I cant peacefully look at the mails and reply to them. I have tried it before, but never felt at ease.

Yesterday I got up quite late owing to the fact that I was absorbed in a nice book the previous night. When I looked at the clock, I gave up all hopes of catching the bus. But something in me said why not give it a shot. I dont know why, but I got real excited and started getting ready. To my pleasant surprise, I did everything so orderly, thought so clearly,everything fell in place so well and I reached the bus stop to catch the bus in time.Yeah! I patted my back for it!

So last evening pleased with myself I decided to master the new art. I woke up late today,actually I woke up early but felt assured about not missing the bus and so slept again. I messed up so much and it was my great fortune I caught the bus. If I had missed it I would to find that rare obliging auto fellow(these species are on the verge of extinction in B'lore!) to take me to office! I couldnt have done anything crazier(underestimating myself??). God,why am I the way I am?
But you know what? Such things only make life more interesting in the otherwise mechanical workdays.

Life goes on....

When someone in my team leaves its always hard to take it. Without our knowledge we tend to become used to people we work with. Its not always that you like everybody, but with considerable amount of time spent, you get accustomed to people and their ways. I am a part of a team where we need to interact very often with other team-mates. I have been around for slightly less than a year now. Just months after I joined a team-mate left. I almost found myself in tears! Now, I accept the fact much more easily, but its always sad. Tomorrow again another team-mate is moving out and we are all going to miss him,he was so much fun to be with, and as he says "life goes on.."hmm...

Nostalgia

I have a liking for Indian stuff in English. Anything to do with something that I can relate to, always has interested me.I guess this is a very natural thing. No doubt I used to devour all those books-Secret seven,Nancy Drew, Hardy boys et cetera(RK style!), but there was a strange enjoyment whenever I read R K Narayan. These days I am just refreshing the joy by reading and re-reading some of his books. The characters in his novels always seem so familiar. Swami doing his assignments always reminds me of myself. I used to write "pages of handwriting" on monday morning, before hurrying off to school!There has been one other writer(or rather a columnist) whose writings have similar effect on me. He is V Gangadhar who writes a column called "slice of life" in The Hindu's sunday editions. I have always looked forward for his columns. I remember reading his articles ever since I was in school. Even now he writes, but I dont get to see it every sunday, I sometimes even miss his column.Their writings carry the same familiarity. I seem to know these people personally! The people,their ways,their mentality,dishes,clothes all these that one gets to read in their works all seem so down to earth, so ordinary, so mundane.Gangadhar opens his life and experiences to the readers. I know so many things about him and his tastes by merely reading his articles. There is a sense of deja vu.And ofcourse Keshav's cartoons bring all these characters in his articles to life. Just like Laxman's does to RK's novels. Wow what a similarity! These could also have helped my young mind to imagine these things better and enjoy them.

En-lightenment!

The other day I felt bad because I felt very sad when someone had questioned the very way I do things. It might not have been intentional at all, it just could have been a casual remark, and may be I took it the wrong way. But it did make me think..

There are several things in life which we think we love. I always felt I loved my job(even now mostly I do), because, it gave me a sense of security, made me "acceptable" among friends, gave a purpose during all those days after graduation when you dont know what to do with yourself! I had so many reasons. And I never felt like questioning myself, even once. This was not where I wanted to be when I was young. I always dreamt of becoming someone else. And no one forced me to be what I am. I had chosen my career. And I felt I should never regret anything, stand by all my decisions.

Hey, its not that I dont like what I am doing any more. I surely enjoy it, but certainly dont love it for the same reasons. I understand that its not the job I love, its that "occupation" of my mind while doing things that keeps me free from the anything to do with the rest of the world and yes certainly for the reason that it gives me things to do between weekends! (I read this on a poster). There is no need to feel overly about anything/anybody. I realize that there is no need to justify any feeling/belief of yours that gets contradicted at times. And there is certainly no need to tell myself to keep "loving" it. There is no point. When you feel like you have "had enough", feel free to feel it. When you enjoy doing something, enjoy the feeling to the core without any regrets, without any guilt. I am understanding that one shouldnt try dictating ones feelings and thoughts always. There are so many things beyond us.Like there are several things and people I have loved all my life without knowing why, and I still do. May be thats how life is.

Crushes???

As a teenager, I used to have so many crushes. On an average, one every month. It continued to be like that until recently.Now I wonder why it isnt that way. It was very strange. All these people were celebs of some magnitude, I never had met them, I never wished to meet them! It was just that I loved to watch them (either on TV/the bigscreen) or listen to them. It was sheer excitement.
One of my biggest crushes (in the sense that it lasted for many months!) was on channel[v] VJ Purab. He used to host this show called "CRUSH" and I had a crush on him! I liked everything about him, the way he spoke, the way he looked, and absolutely everything about him. Even now I like him, but I am not as crazy as I used to be! He seems to be very talented. The last I heard about him (doesnt that make you feel I know him personally!) was that he acted in Sanjay Suri's film My brother Nikhil. I am not very sure but I guess he played a homosexual in that film!
Then the next longest one was probably Sonu (Nigam). I was very crazy about his voice. He has a magic in his voice. I used to like "Yeh dil" from Pardes a lot. Now I sometimes dont like the very way he looks! Those long hair,my god! He used to look so cute with that neat haicut. Well I certainly shouldnt comment about other peoples' hair-styles given the fact that I experiment with it myself! Thats a different story altogether.That will probably need a dedicated space on my blog..hmmm?? But I still like his songs.
The list can go on... I am not even sure whether these crazy fascinations of having imaginary relationships with non-existent people(they never belonged to my world!) can even be called "crushes", but I always called them so, it made the feeling all the more interesting! Usually when people have crushes on celebs they are so eager to meet them in person. But I never felt I wanted to meet them some day! When any of my friends asked me this question it was outright "no way!". Crazy me!

Men and women

Some funny stuff I read...

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. Though I am not a hard core feminist I feel there is truth in this statement!

Know thyself!

These days I am getting a lot of mails from friends who send me these crazy links that will tell me more about myself! Meaning these will be some kinds of tests and the answers will be analised and I will be enlightened about myself. I took one called "Dr.Phil's test", another to find out if I am in love or not(hmm!!!), yet another that analised me based on my date of birth and so on. Inspite of being busy the whole week I would somehow make time and take these tests. Was it that I dint know myself or was it that I was eager if the world had really come up with things that could guage the real me based on a few facts that i provide, is still a question. But I enjoyed doing all this! I realised one thing from these tests. Anything that arouses a person's curiosity saying it can tell who "I" am sells!

Coffee...

I wasnt this crazy about coffee until a couple of years ago. I always wondered why people loved this drink the way they do. At home I had always seen my mom start her day with a hot cup of coffee. And beleive me there are thousands of people who are real crazy about this drink..

Now even I start my day with a cup of this heaven! Unlike most other people I like my coffee not very hot. It cant be called hot also! Its a little hotter than what is called warm and a little colder than what is called hot! Ya, I am so particular about its temperature as well! Crazy me!

Coffee has even inspired a recent talk show to be named after it. Koffee with Karan, and Karan Johar dint spare even the humble coffee. He added a 'K' to it as well! See dint I tell you Koffee can be Krazy! And with so many cool looking coffee shops I guess coffee is no longer that humble drink.

And coffee has this very romantic association with mornings and newspapers! What a way to start your day with hot (not that very!) cup of coffee reading your favorite newpaper!

But let me tell you, too much of anything isnt good as well. This is from my own experience. I used to down cups of it when I felt very sleepy. Its a diuretic. It can cause gastric disorders, prevents one from getting hungry and the list goes on...

Hmm.. my strong admiration for coffee dint diminish anyways. I take it in the right amount and enjoy it now. So herez some space on my blog for this special drink!

Radio city..

Yesterday I felt I should write about my 10 month old companion on the move. I get to hear radio city every morning when I am on my way to office and every evening on my way back home. I travel in a bus. The only time I dont enjoy it is when I need to talk over the phone.
I like Daraius! The way he amuses people who call him to request for a song is great. I remember a particular evening when it was raining, he played songs that had rain as the theme and I loved it. So thoughtful of him! He makes those really nice evenings , wrongly spent stuck in traffic jams, inching through the mad rush of vehicles heading home after a day's work on the Hosur road, pleasant. Had it not been for some nice music, getting stuck in a traffic would have been absolutely frustrating!

Vasanthi, the RJ of the morning show once asked who among the following does a woman feel is very possessive about her : father,brother,boyfriend or husband? Instantly I felt the answer was the "father". Then I realized how could I even conclude as I did not have a brother or a boyfriend or a husband. But I was curious to know what Bangalore felt. Then when I got into the bus that evening Daraius brought up the issue and said he would annouce the results of the poll. It was a pleasant surprise, as I had forgotten all about it. And guess what Bangalore agreed with me!

Some crap!

Oh god! its already 7.30 in the evening and i dont feel tired at all. Usually at this hour when I am in office I feel tired. I have been checking my mailbox for a while..none of my friends seem to be free! no mails? no forwards? what happened to the world all of a sudden? and work..its happening..very slowly..thats because i have been doing it that way..i read a few blogs of other people..pretty interesting.
Now I am off to canteen..i hear my stomach rumbling! :)

The chair

Here is something nice I read today:

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a
broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have
gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "Which chair?"

My musings about first impressions and second chances

Man, its been a long time since I wrote something on my blog(BTW I havent written anything at all so far!)...I always get some ideas..so there is something I felt strongly about today.. so here it is..

I always wonder why "first impression" has so much of importance attached to it. It shows the human nature of trying to be decisive and the strong inclinination to be keenly judgmental. People always want tend to carry this "baggage" about others. And how many times are we able to judge any person precisely by the first impressions about them.

I beleive that everybody deserves a "second" chance, even yourself, for you should give yourself a second chance before judging a person.Everyday we meet people, some of whom we "like" and some whom we "dislike". Or rather we decide to "like" or "dislike" somebody. And more often than not we want to keep it that way. Ofcourse each of us have this right and no one can dictate things to anybody.

There are several times when we have to be with some people whether we like it or not. But give it a thought. What is the use of passing a judgement about anyone? Why should my past experiences become a hurdle in my day-to-day interaction. Why cant each day be taken as it comes, each person be taken as is? Why should I not be good even when the other person, whom I thought I hated is trying to be good to me? Is it my ego that prevents me from being friendly. If thats the case what good is it of? Put yourself in the other person's shoes.How many of us would like it if people judged us for every action of ours?

Each of us need our "space".

Hmm..on second thoughts,(again "second"?) there were many questions and few answers..One last question..should all these "first"s and "second"s matter at all and do they really make our everyday life better?

my first blog

Hi,
I am writing my first blog. I have always wanted to write...its a wonderful way of expression.