I have been quite busy with work from past few weeks. Every morning getting up early, getting ready and running to office seems such a herculean task. I hate myself for doing it. There is a shuttle later in the morning at around 10,(the one I catch is in the wee hours of the morning - at 8!) but I somehow feel its too late a time to go to office. If I go at that time I cant peacefully look at the mails and reply to them. I have tried it before, but never felt at ease.
Yesterday I got up quite late owing to the fact that I was absorbed in a nice book the previous night. When I looked at the clock, I gave up all hopes of catching the bus. But something in me said why not give it a shot. I dont know why, but I got real excited and started getting ready. To my pleasant surprise, I did everything so orderly, thought so clearly,everything fell in place so well and I reached the bus stop to catch the bus in time.Yeah! I patted my back for it!
So last evening pleased with myself I decided to master the new art. I woke up late today,actually I woke up early but felt assured about not missing the bus and so slept again. I messed up so much and it was my great fortune I caught the bus. If I had missed it I would to find that rare obliging auto fellow(these species are on the verge of extinction in B'lore!) to take me to office! I couldnt have done anything crazier(underestimating myself??). God,why am I the way I am?
But you know what? Such things only make life more interesting in the otherwise mechanical workdays.
June 30, 2005
June 29, 2005
Life goes on....
When someone in my team leaves its always hard to take it. Without our knowledge we tend to become used to people we work with. Its not always that you like everybody, but with considerable amount of time spent, you get accustomed to people and their ways. I am a part of a team where we need to interact very often with other team-mates. I have been around for slightly less than a year now. Just months after I joined a team-mate left. I almost found myself in tears! Now, I accept the fact much more easily, but its always sad. Tomorrow again another team-mate is moving out and we are all going to miss him,he was so much fun to be with, and as he says "life goes on.."hmm...
Nostalgia
I have a liking for Indian stuff in English. Anything to do with something that I can relate to, always has interested me.I guess this is a very natural thing. No doubt I used to devour all those books-Secret seven,Nancy Drew, Hardy boys et cetera(RK style!), but there was a strange enjoyment whenever I read R K Narayan. These days I am just refreshing the joy by reading and re-reading some of his books. The characters in his novels always seem so familiar. Swami doing his assignments always reminds me of myself. I used to write "pages of handwriting" on monday morning, before hurrying off to school!There has been one other writer(or rather a columnist) whose writings have similar effect on me. He is V Gangadhar who writes a column called "slice of life" in The Hindu's sunday editions. I have always looked forward for his columns. I remember reading his articles ever since I was in school. Even now he writes, but I dont get to see it every sunday, I sometimes even miss his column.Their writings carry the same familiarity. I seem to know these people personally! The people,their ways,their mentality,dishes,clothes all these that one gets to read in their works all seem so down to earth, so ordinary, so mundane.Gangadhar opens his life and experiences to the readers. I know so many things about him and his tastes by merely reading his articles. There is a sense of deja vu.And ofcourse Keshav's cartoons bring all these characters in his articles to life. Just like Laxman's does to RK's novels. Wow what a similarity! These could also have helped my young mind to imagine these things better and enjoy them.
June 10, 2005
En-lightenment!
The other day I felt bad because I felt very sad when someone had questioned the very way I do things. It might not have been intentional at all, it just could have been a casual remark, and may be I took it the wrong way. But it did make me think..
There are several things in life which we think we love. I always felt I loved my job(even now mostly I do), because, it gave me a sense of security, made me "acceptable" among friends, gave a purpose during all those days after graduation when you dont know what to do with yourself! I had so many reasons. And I never felt like questioning myself, even once. This was not where I wanted to be when I was young. I always dreamt of becoming someone else. And no one forced me to be what I am. I had chosen my career. And I felt I should never regret anything, stand by all my decisions.
Hey, its not that I dont like what I am doing any more. I surely enjoy it, but certainly dont love it for the same reasons. I understand that its not the job I love, its that "occupation" of my mind while doing things that keeps me free from the anything to do with the rest of the world and yes certainly for the reason that it gives me things to do between weekends! (I read this on a poster). There is no need to feel overly about anything/anybody. I realize that there is no need to justify any feeling/belief of yours that gets contradicted at times. And there is certainly no need to tell myself to keep "loving" it. There is no point. When you feel like you have "had enough", feel free to feel it. When you enjoy doing something, enjoy the feeling to the core without any regrets, without any guilt. I am understanding that one shouldnt try dictating ones feelings and thoughts always. There are so many things beyond us.Like there are several things and people I have loved all my life without knowing why, and I still do. May be thats how life is.
There are several things in life which we think we love. I always felt I loved my job(even now mostly I do), because, it gave me a sense of security, made me "acceptable" among friends, gave a purpose during all those days after graduation when you dont know what to do with yourself! I had so many reasons. And I never felt like questioning myself, even once. This was not where I wanted to be when I was young. I always dreamt of becoming someone else. And no one forced me to be what I am. I had chosen my career. And I felt I should never regret anything, stand by all my decisions.
Hey, its not that I dont like what I am doing any more. I surely enjoy it, but certainly dont love it for the same reasons. I understand that its not the job I love, its that "occupation" of my mind while doing things that keeps me free from the anything to do with the rest of the world and yes certainly for the reason that it gives me things to do between weekends! (I read this on a poster). There is no need to feel overly about anything/anybody. I realize that there is no need to justify any feeling/belief of yours that gets contradicted at times. And there is certainly no need to tell myself to keep "loving" it. There is no point. When you feel like you have "had enough", feel free to feel it. When you enjoy doing something, enjoy the feeling to the core without any regrets, without any guilt. I am understanding that one shouldnt try dictating ones feelings and thoughts always. There are so many things beyond us.Like there are several things and people I have loved all my life without knowing why, and I still do. May be thats how life is.
June 09, 2005
Crushes???
As a teenager, I used to have so many crushes. On an average, one every month. It continued to be like that until recently.Now I wonder why it isnt that way. It was very strange. All these people were celebs of some magnitude, I never had met them, I never wished to meet them! It was just that I loved to watch them (either on TV/the bigscreen) or listen to them. It was sheer excitement.
One of my biggest crushes (in the sense that it lasted for many months!) was on channel[v] VJ Purab. He used to host this show called "CRUSH" and I had a crush on him! I liked everything about him, the way he spoke, the way he looked, and absolutely everything about him. Even now I like him, but I am not as crazy as I used to be! He seems to be very talented. The last I heard about him (doesnt that make you feel I know him personally!) was that he acted in Sanjay Suri's film My brother Nikhil. I am not very sure but I guess he played a homosexual in that film!
Then the next longest one was probably Sonu (Nigam). I was very crazy about his voice. He has a magic in his voice. I used to like "Yeh dil" from Pardes a lot. Now I sometimes dont like the very way he looks! Those long hair,my god! He used to look so cute with that neat haicut. Well I certainly shouldnt comment about other peoples' hair-styles given the fact that I experiment with it myself! Thats a different story altogether.That will probably need a dedicated space on my blog..hmmm?? But I still like his songs.
The list can go on... I am not even sure whether these crazy fascinations of having imaginary relationships with non-existent people(they never belonged to my world!) can even be called "crushes", but I always called them so, it made the feeling all the more interesting! Usually when people have crushes on celebs they are so eager to meet them in person. But I never felt I wanted to meet them some day! When any of my friends asked me this question it was outright "no way!". Crazy me!
One of my biggest crushes (in the sense that it lasted for many months!) was on channel[v] VJ Purab. He used to host this show called "CRUSH" and I had a crush on him! I liked everything about him, the way he spoke, the way he looked, and absolutely everything about him. Even now I like him, but I am not as crazy as I used to be! He seems to be very talented. The last I heard about him (doesnt that make you feel I know him personally!) was that he acted in Sanjay Suri's film My brother Nikhil. I am not very sure but I guess he played a homosexual in that film!
Then the next longest one was probably Sonu (Nigam). I was very crazy about his voice. He has a magic in his voice. I used to like "Yeh dil" from Pardes a lot. Now I sometimes dont like the very way he looks! Those long hair,my god! He used to look so cute with that neat haicut. Well I certainly shouldnt comment about other peoples' hair-styles given the fact that I experiment with it myself! Thats a different story altogether.That will probably need a dedicated space on my blog..hmmm?? But I still like his songs.
The list can go on... I am not even sure whether these crazy fascinations of having imaginary relationships with non-existent people(they never belonged to my world!) can even be called "crushes", but I always called them so, it made the feeling all the more interesting! Usually when people have crushes on celebs they are so eager to meet them in person. But I never felt I wanted to meet them some day! When any of my friends asked me this question it was outright "no way!". Crazy me!
Men and women
Some funny stuff I read...
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. Though I am not a hard core feminist I feel there is truth in this statement!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. Though I am not a hard core feminist I feel there is truth in this statement!
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